This story has been published in Chicken Soup for Indian Singles' Soul...
Born in a typical Indian Punjabi family and being a girl, I was always treated like a princess. I was the eldest kid in my generation and my parent’s first child. Hence, I was adored by all the members of my family. When I say princess, I mean I had every possible toy, type of clothing, books, music, etc. anything that one could want in my cupboard! Life was awesome for me but this is what pushed me more towards struggle. Since everything came so easily to me I started searching for struggle intentionally. Weird as it may sound but I have purposely given up on a lot of things in my life to lead a little less comfortable life.
In a ideal world (as per my parents), their daughter, I mean me, should have had this kind of life: Graduate at the age of 21, postgraduate at the age of 23, working by 23.5 years and married by 24 with first child by the age of 25. But here I am, at 24, I am done with my grad, postgrad, worked with 2 firms, have had a series of relationships and break-ups, and now I am working with an NGO. Leaving my amazingly high paying and less strenuous job in an AC office, I teach 70 kids in a dilapidating municipal school building. I work with and for one of India’s education movements and feel proud to say that I am the class teacher of grade 2 in a municipal school based in Mumbai.
I completed my graduation from one of India’s best colleges and started working with a corporate firm in Delhi. When I couldn’t handle the pressure of politics at work, I called it quits. I started working with another company soon after I left the first. As I loved challenges, I started studying for a distance learning course, preparing for my MBA, volunteering with an NGO and interning with another over weekends, while working fulltime as a research analyst. I had packed my life with all the things that could make my resume look great!
Life for me was very convenient but I chose struggle. I did not choose struggle to get away from a typical life that my parents had planned but to find myself. When I was working in a plush office and getting a hefty salary, I was happy as I could afford every luxury in the world. But what I am getting now is immeasurable. No feeling in the world can be compared to what I get when I see my class progress. The kids in my class come from small communities and slums around the school. Everyone of them has a story to tell. Whether it is Devi, whose father is a drunkard and beats up her mother, or Faiyan, whose father left his mother while she was pregnant. Seven year old Zeenat’s mother is my age! Sameera’s father stays away from the family in a different state to earn livelihood and Dilshaad and Raza’s fathers don’t have jobs, pushing their kids to get into labour work at the age of 6! Yes, these are the stories I struggle with everyday. These kids are my life. They have helped me discover a new side to life.
When I try to teach something in class and my lesson doesn’t go well or my class is in no mood to study or they are restless, I feel I failed. At such points, I do feel maybe I didn’t make all that right a decision but then I look back on how much my kids made me smile that day and I feel it’s all worth it. Everytime I think of my life now, I remember the slogan for Mastercard – “There are somethings money can’t buy”. It is true that for some people, they find true bliss while doing corporate jobs or working with the government. For others it is going to an MBA institute of their choice and their profession helps them to find happiness in life. But I am still trying to find myself.....
It was never easy for me to give up on my family and friends and move cities to do what I am doing, but I feel if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have done this either. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t here, I would either be doing another masters or would’ve been married or atleast engaged to be married soon. I am not sure if I would’ve been happy had I not taken up this chance to do things differently in life as planned by others.
On days like these when I think of how things could’ve been and how they are, I always listen to the song by Brad Paisley– “When you find yourself, in some far off place...And it causes you to rethink somethings, you start to sense that slowly you’re becoming someone else...And then you find yourself...”
Born in a typical Indian Punjabi family and being a girl, I was always treated like a princess. I was the eldest kid in my generation and my parent’s first child. Hence, I was adored by all the members of my family. When I say princess, I mean I had every possible toy, type of clothing, books, music, etc. anything that one could want in my cupboard! Life was awesome for me but this is what pushed me more towards struggle. Since everything came so easily to me I started searching for struggle intentionally. Weird as it may sound but I have purposely given up on a lot of things in my life to lead a little less comfortable life.
In a ideal world (as per my parents), their daughter, I mean me, should have had this kind of life: Graduate at the age of 21, postgraduate at the age of 23, working by 23.5 years and married by 24 with first child by the age of 25. But here I am, at 24, I am done with my grad, postgrad, worked with 2 firms, have had a series of relationships and break-ups, and now I am working with an NGO. Leaving my amazingly high paying and less strenuous job in an AC office, I teach 70 kids in a dilapidating municipal school building. I work with and for one of India’s education movements and feel proud to say that I am the class teacher of grade 2 in a municipal school based in Mumbai.
I completed my graduation from one of India’s best colleges and started working with a corporate firm in Delhi. When I couldn’t handle the pressure of politics at work, I called it quits. I started working with another company soon after I left the first. As I loved challenges, I started studying for a distance learning course, preparing for my MBA, volunteering with an NGO and interning with another over weekends, while working fulltime as a research analyst. I had packed my life with all the things that could make my resume look great!
Life for me was very convenient but I chose struggle. I did not choose struggle to get away from a typical life that my parents had planned but to find myself. When I was working in a plush office and getting a hefty salary, I was happy as I could afford every luxury in the world. But what I am getting now is immeasurable. No feeling in the world can be compared to what I get when I see my class progress. The kids in my class come from small communities and slums around the school. Everyone of them has a story to tell. Whether it is Devi, whose father is a drunkard and beats up her mother, or Faiyan, whose father left his mother while she was pregnant. Seven year old Zeenat’s mother is my age! Sameera’s father stays away from the family in a different state to earn livelihood and Dilshaad and Raza’s fathers don’t have jobs, pushing their kids to get into labour work at the age of 6! Yes, these are the stories I struggle with everyday. These kids are my life. They have helped me discover a new side to life.
When I try to teach something in class and my lesson doesn’t go well or my class is in no mood to study or they are restless, I feel I failed. At such points, I do feel maybe I didn’t make all that right a decision but then I look back on how much my kids made me smile that day and I feel it’s all worth it. Everytime I think of my life now, I remember the slogan for Mastercard – “There are somethings money can’t buy”. It is true that for some people, they find true bliss while doing corporate jobs or working with the government. For others it is going to an MBA institute of their choice and their profession helps them to find happiness in life. But I am still trying to find myself.....
It was never easy for me to give up on my family and friends and move cities to do what I am doing, but I feel if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have done this either. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t here, I would either be doing another masters or would’ve been married or atleast engaged to be married soon. I am not sure if I would’ve been happy had I not taken up this chance to do things differently in life as planned by others.
On days like these when I think of how things could’ve been and how they are, I always listen to the song by Brad Paisley– “When you find yourself, in some far off place...And it causes you to rethink somethings, you start to sense that slowly you’re becoming someone else...And then you find yourself...”
No comments:
Post a Comment