I don’t know if any of you know about the domino effect where one thing falls and slightly pushes another making it fall and then this continues....My dream about change or rather idea of transformation was always this.....I impact one life and that one life will impact one more....Today I feel I have done that .....when I see some of my friends a little changed...wanting to do so much more in life I feel I have done a bit of my bit....When I see some of my students realising that its important to sit in a clean classroom and throw things in the dustbin I see that...When I see them stopping elder kids from stepping onto their desks I see that change.....When I see my kids trying to understand what I say in English and respond to my actions, I know that effort is showing....I realise that there is so much more to do yet it will all happen....one day, some day....
Today being Teachers’ Day is one of the happiest days of my life.....back in school I used to look forward to this day so I could watch my teachers perform on stage....and for giving them cards as acknowledging them for what they gave me was important to me even at an early age....
Maybe some of my junior school buddies know this...when I was in junior school we used to get circulars about holidays, homework, etc. to be given to our parents....the circulars would not have our principal or head teachers’ signatures.....I would sign it! I remember one of my friends asking why I did that and I said I wana start my school someday and it will be like this one...I will be the principal...I still have one of those circulars....I was 11 years old then...today after 12 years, I am finally a teacher....I’m living my dream each day...I’m with people and not machines trying to make a change somewhere everyday....I’m trying....and I know one day some day things will change...I might not live to see the change but I know I will see the early signs....as I see them everyday....
I wonder sometimes what did my teachers do that I turned out like this...I’m sure my teachers put in alot of effort in pushing me and my friends but how did they drive it...I will be indebted to them for life....Can never thank them enough.....
I’m also writing this to share about my recent community visits...due to the down pour in Mumbai I wasn’t able to visit any of my kids’ houses in the last 1 month...yesterday I went to 3...
My co-teacher and I walked to Zeenat’s house....Zeenat is one of the smartest and most hardworking kids in class....her schedule is something like this...tuition in the morning, then school till 5.45...then she goes to the madrassa at 8pm and comes back and does homework....the poor lil kid has hardly anytime to play! When asked about what she wanted her child to become, Zeenat’s mom replied, she wanted her daughter to teach in the local madrassa but not for money, as they don’t want her to do a job...Her mom is 24 years old...has 4 children including Zeenat, who is 7 years old.....which means Zeenat was born when her mum was just 17! What do I say...that I am here to change mindsets?? That I want my kids to break boundaries and start a new world for themselves? When they are stuck in such shackles of religious dogma and society??
Next I went to Sameera’s house...she doesn’t have a father...her mom takes care of her and her sisters.....she wants Sameera to become a doctor....these moments make me realise that there is still hope....That somethings will change...that everyone will not remain stuck in the hell hole of life....
The last visit was to Farzana’s house....she and Mahek are 2 kids in my class who are mentally-challenged...infact, Farzana’s entire family suffers from this...she lost a sister last year....but the kid has no idea of whats happening around her...she is lost in her own world...when my co-teacher took her to the hospital to get psychological tests done, Farzana thought she had come to another school and when my co-teacher offered her food, her first question was – “Didi, break ho gayi?”....what do you say when you see so much suffering around you knowing that you can’t do anything ....should u feel helpless or should u become indifferent to it...
When I see kids like Devi so aware of the fact that her father is an alcoholic and doesn’t give any money at home...knowing that its such a traumatic situation and the kid is not aware of how grave it is....seeing her grow in such conditions how do I ensure that she grows up with a different set of values and knows whats right and wrong....where do I draw a line for my locus of control? Where do I begin and where do I stop? Where do I say that now I’m done?
I thought that all this will never overwhelm me...I’v seen it all but each day is a new learning, a new realisation...my journey seems to have just begun and I’m taking each day as it comes.....
For all those who have supported me till now thank you so much! You have no idea how much your words mean to me when I come back home tired and dead....feeling unwell or just overwhelmed with what I saw that day...I hope my kids are also lucky enough to find such support for their dreams...
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