Something they call training...

Is the system corrupt and badly managed to the extent that change is impossible or an extremely far-fetched dream that might never turn into reality? I was recently at a BMC teacher training for CCE, a training that can change the marking system and the lives of all kids studying in BMC schools....a training I thought was important and reached punctually at 8 am and it finally started at 9.....A training where I saw most teachers picnicking and gossiping or flipping through magazines......wasting time which is meant for their students...a training where everyone sat and ate ....and the trainer asked them to entertain everyone present by reciting poetry or singing a song...Here are the exact words - "Agar aap sab thoda discussion karenge toh sabka timepass hoga..."

Day 2 of the training: Have you ever cheated in an exam? All my life I chose to walk on the path of honesty but for once I'm not sure if this is even a matter of honesty....Once the training is over the teachers are handed a paper to check how much they have understood...The catch is that the exam is in Marathi! For the first time I felt mentally handicapped....now I know what alot of my kids feel when I give them a paper with topics they dont know or words they cant read....With teachers from Telugu and Tamil medium schools, how can the exam be in Marathi? Mr. Thackarey would you like it if you were asked to answer a question in Kannada or Punjabi?

And I am back to where I started from....

Before I start off with whats been up with me, I really want to apologise to all those who are pissed with me for not being in touch. I really have no excuses to give you since I don’t know why I haven’t been in touch myself...I guess school and work took a toll on me and Iv just been struggling with that....So before anyone of you freaks out I just want to say that I will be in Pune till 11th June and Bangalore soon after and then Delhi...so all my friends in these 3 cities please take time out and let me know when can we catchup....cant wait to see you all....:)

The last time I wrote was in February and these last 2 n half months have been so hectic that I havnt had the time to breathe....with school about to go in for vacations, exams, results, my co-teacher leaving, some kids leaving the school, this trip and that trip, friends visiting Mumbai and all that these two n half months have been full...of excitement, nervousness, work, happy moments and sad moments.....

Half way thru February, I took my class for a 3-d movie – Alpha and Omega, I am not sure if the kids enjoyed the movie cos some of them dozed off, but i am sure that stepping into a hall was extremely exciting for them and so was the bus trip...The biggest challenge of that trip was taking the kids to the washroom! Its another thing for us but for kids who have never seen a WC or a flush it was weird to use it....my volunteers I am sure realised that it wasn’t easy to handle them....but even though the kids were in a strange zone they were well behaved and did not cause any trouble

The month of March went in preparing for 2 things – End of Year exams and the Showcase....while we were struggling to ensure that we push the kids to do well in Math and English on one hand, we also made them practice songs, speeches for their Showcase (A showcase is a presentation of all that the kids have learnt over a year)....my lower order (weak students) struggled with practicing Math but ask them to sing the song “This is the way we brush our teeth” and they would jump to action

They did bomb their exams but I feel its more of my failure and not theirs as I havnt been a great teacher. Though individually most of them did very well in Math (I was primarily teaching Math and my co-teacher taught English) but we were unable to meet the class goal in Math. The good bit was they did meet the English goal. I am not concerned about the class goal honestly what bothers me today is that I haven’t been able to reach out to a silent Vikas, to a lost Sana and to a most-of-the-time-absent Mahek Fatima.

So next year I hope things will get better....

The last couple of days were fun....Namita and I took some kids to the beach one day and to hypercity on another..they even had a chance to go to the local fire station....and they did pot painting...I have never seen Ubed do anything with so much concentration! He cant sit straight for more than 5 seconds and here he was trying to beautify a mud pot with paints! On the last day we had a class party which ended on a sentimental note...it was my co-teacher’s last day in school...she hugged and bid farewell to the kids...I was teary-eyed but she just smiled

 

School ended with loads of admin work...i literally had to make the result sheet for 76 kids 3 times!! Along with their report cards...so if I didn’t take someone’s calls now you know why...

On 16th May, the first batch of TFI fellows graduated leaving us with the burden they had carried these last 2 years....on 17th May, my batch had our End of Year summit, where I found out that my class had grown 1.5 years in one year in Reading Fluency (number of words they can read per minute)! This just made me realise that having a Big goal is not just inspirational but as well as aspirational...

As soon as school ended I landed in Pune for Institute...and so a year later I was back to be a part of the Institute madness like last year...the difference is then I was a new fellow wanting to learn...this year I was an old fellow passing gyaan and trying to make people’s life easier....

More institute news in the next update!Till then loads of love

The Void

With Valentines Day gone by, and having so many single friends....each day I see more and more people dealing with the feeling called VOID.....

Nah its not a bad thing....its a feeling where you feel lonely and wish you had someone there...when you wana go back home to someone....when you wana share your happy and sad moments with someone...

Till the time you are a kid, you are unaware of this....when you are a teenager, you have too much on your mind and dont have to deal with it....its when you are in the quarter bit of your life you realise it exists....most people dont even realise or avoid thinking about it as they feel its a temporary phase after a break-up or being single for a long time...so they try to fill it up...some find people to fill it up with, others fill it with work or too many things to do....if nothing else some fill it up with materialistic things they enjoy or achievements in different fields...

The truth is the void has always and will always exist.....no amount of promotions, or cars or houses, gfs or bfs, or jst frnds can cover it up....The void is like an empty box which doesnt have a bottom...when you fill it with anything it wont stay cos the box will let it fall out.....

The good bit about the void is that it lets you detach easily and keeps your expectations low....

Here's how you can deal with the void...accept it...live with it....there is no guarantee that when you will have that person whom you can go home to, the void will vanish.....or when you become a successful person things will get better....cos the void will stay....and let it....

Phew! January over! February half way thru!

If there is something known as overtime I felt I had crossed the limits last month!

I was busy with something or the other on Sundays too! The highlights of the last month were the Synergry Conference, a training, visit to Pune twice, walk into Sanjay Gandhi National Park...and a few more....

So January was a busy month...and I knew it the minute it started! I spent my New Year's Eve with a friend from TFI at the terrace building watching fire crackers! I slept at 4 and was up at 7am for some work! Someone once told me that the way you spend your first day, your entire year goes the same way...i don't know about before but now Im beginning to believe it! After finshing work I traveled to Pune to meet friends and the college alumni meet....iv set a record of being in Pune every year on the 1st of January for the past 6 years now! I hope this continues....the meet was fun with my batch having the highest turn out (there were 10 of us after all!)....the embarrasing bit was when I had to dance with a junior on "Tujhe dekha to ye jana sanam" on the stage!

The week after that was super exciting! Teach for India hosted the Teach for All - Synergy Conference...for those who didnt know, there are 18 countries that have similar organisations as TFI such as Teach First UK, Teach for America, Teach First Estonia, Teach for Malaysia...and believe it or not there is also Teach for Pakistan....

My school had four visitors...fellows who teach with Teach for Australia, Teach First UK, Teach for Israel and Teach First Germany....when I took them on a round of the school, the Urdu medium kids were just leaving...they met the visitors and started taking their autograph...they thought that Geoff (fellow, Teach for Australia) was a cricketer! Not only that, some of them asked me if Karen (Teach for Israel) was Pamela Anderson, whom they has seen on Bigg Boss! When I told Karen this her reaction was "Pamela Anderson, me? from where?"

It was an amazing week! I heard crazy facts like Estonia has 500 dropouts every year and thats about it! In a country like Israel, teaching is not a very respected profession! The conference also made me realise that there are 1000s of people working for the same cause as I am and everyone is facing similar situations and dealing with it. That I am not along in this.....

The weekend Synergy got over, I traveled to Pune again for another TFI event.....I guess I was just looking for an excuse to get to Pune again...

The entire week after that went in school and community visits....I used to find it weird when old people would tell me how they had to walk 40mins to get to school....i dont find that unbelieveable anymore....alot of my kids do that...when i would hear people would study sitting under a lamp post, it used to amaze me...not anymore, i mean what are u supposed to do when there is no electricity....i guess nothing has really changed in all these decades.....

The next weekend I participated in the Dream Run (Mumbai Marathon)....so I walked 6+ kms (believe me  there was no place to run!).....when everyone returned home tired post the run, I was out at a book fair, and set another record of calling 100 TFI applicants in 3 hours! I actually felt I was on some energy drug!

Not to put an end to the fun bit...I went to watch Vagina Monologues the next weekend.....had dinner at a rooftop restaurant and asked a tarot card reader silly questions....i dont believe in astrology, etc. but i guess its fun at times...i was actually confused cos TFI wants me to move to Delhi, but I dint kno if I shuld...not that the tarot reader would've helped but i just wanted someone to put an end to my confusion....

So my working weekends dint end and I ended up going to the TFI board meeting.....heard about top-level stuff and met people such as the Dean of ISB, Hyderabad, Anu Aga (Thermax Industries Head), etc.
The next morning I was out for a nature trail at Sanjay Gandhi National Park....ok....im not elaborating on that one....

January did finally end but funfilled weekends didn't!

The first Saturday of Feb, my kids got stationery sets from someone in Singapore...an client of an acquintance sent it....how networks with people work! it truly amazes me! Post that I took 4 kids to Inorbit for playing video games....Cant describe how happy they were....

My bday weekend finally arrived...not like I was looking forward to any celebration..but thats one day when I hear from people I havnt spoken to in ages! And it makes me thankful for having so many friends that my phone doesnt stop ringing even at 3am! I cut a cake at Marine Drive! roamed at Kala ghoda festival...had dinner with friends...the kids sang for me....When your bday cards are letters from kids saying "Sameera love Ritika Didi; Didi love icecream"...and your gifts are roses from kids or their moms...you know you have become old.....:)

Signing off!

Thank you everyone for your wishes and for supporting me in every way you could this past one year:)

Some major..some minor..moments

I haven’t written in a long time....was just busy and at times keeping myslf busy...over the last 1.5 months or so alot has happened...moments where I felt lost..moments where i felt i cant take somethings anymore..moments where i felt proud...moments i felt strong....moments where i felt vulnerable....so here are snippets describing those moments....


What if....???The most painful moment last month was when Kaif in my class fell sick...one day, while my co-teacher was taking the lesson, i saw Kaif crying and took him out of class...he said there was some insect coming out of his body...and it turned out to be true...a 6 inch long red coloured worm came out of his body...tht was the first time i felt scared and panicked...wht if it had been somethn major?wht if i hd lost the child? Iv never felt such an emotion before...somethn i cant expln......thankfully kaif is all fine...

A night in the slum...Have u heard of dharavi? The biggest slum in Asia? Well not only have i heard of it and seen it..i have lived there for 2 days! In order to figure out what my community project should be for next yr i attended a workshop called empower india conducted by 2009 fellow at TFI. The workshop was held at a school in Dharavi and I had to stay there during a weekend. I really don’t understand why is it the biggest slum? I actually saw apartment buildings there! I mean i seen worse conditions around my school! Anyway, now i can say iv stayed day and night in school!

The fun moment...the most fun time in school were the last 2 days before the winter break...we had an art competition for all the classes – the theme was “Christmas”.....the kids sat in the corridors on mats and drew and coloured....it was great to jst watch them go all out and let their creativity flow...the winners were announced next day at the Christmas assembly...this was the first intra-class art competition! Sameer Shaikh from my class won in class 2:)

And now about the highlight at the end of every 6 weeks that my kids look forward to – the Parent-Teacher meeting! This wasn’t a usual one...we had had a Christmas party just before the meeting! The kids came all dressed up! The funny thing was they all called Santa Claus as Jingle Bell! Hardly any kid from class 1 to 7 knew that it was Santa Claus! They all called it Jingle Bell! My class was decorated...and we got plum cake, juice and chips for everyone!

The PTM wasn’t a crying scenario this time..but the winners were absolute surprise! Kids who never thought could do so well actually won! Some of them had moved from 30% to 80% in math! Sameer Firoz’s expression actually shows he wasn’t expecting this! Unfortunately his parents weren’t there....the only thing he said to me when i congratulated him was his parents didn’t come...i was unable to say anythn....

And then we broke for Winter break....

Believe me i havnt slpt as much as i did during these vacations! A frnd of mine can vouch for tht!

Thats why this email is coming late to everyone! Besides I thought of keeping it short...so i don’t have to write a separate executive summary!

Hope you all had an amazing New Year! Thank you for standing by me during the last year! If it weren’t for you guys i wouldn’t have been here and doing what i wanted to.